LiFe

So, I get to work today(early) by five minutes! I love working at this church! I get ready for the day, check e-mail, facebook and twitter. I start preparing for ONEyouth tonight, I'm excited God has been speaking to me and using this series for His glory. Im writing this thing for service tonight its like a worship invitation almost. God has really just been saying come up higher, help this group coming to a higher place with me. It's funny how that also fits in with the series Im preaching. So Im writing this introduction and then my sermon material. I'am feeling really good about it all. It's only 1030 and I already have a bulk of tonight ready. I have been listening to worship music and really just enjoying the presence of God.
and then all of a sudden...
This feeling of discouragement hits me.
Like a blow to the heart and lungs when all of your air has escaped you. I can't breath anymore, I can't catch my breath.
This voice is saying your not good enough, you dont ever do things right what makes you think your doing this right, what if your not suppose to be here, what if this isn't what your called too, You will never be good enough.
Like I am in one of those interrogation rooms from T.V. and this voice is on a loud speaker.
these thoughts are just punching punching punching me into the ground. Until I feel like poop.
I start wondering if some of that stuff is true, I call my wife and she is discouraged too, so its like what if this is true, what if this is all wrong.
But then...
God starts to speak!
This is where I have put you.
This is where I have put you.
Let me say it one more time for those of you who don't hear it.
This is where I have put you!
I get this idea then to start speaking life into things that are uncomfortable (an idea I got from a pastor in Florida)
God I speak life into my house,
I speak life into my job,
I speak life into my marriage,
I speak life into my choices,
I speak life into my work ethic,
I speak life into my words and actions.
I speak life into my life.
God bring me your life.

See I cannot not control what others say or how they treat people, but I can control how I act and treat people. I can breath life into my action and words.
I can lift people up with love.
I choose to give life and speak life.
God help me to be more like you every day, I pray.