I want to scream to the heavens!

Have you ever felt like screaming?
Well I have sometimes for joy, sometimes in anger, sometimes in frustration, and sometimes just for the heck of making myself heard. To who you may ask well I guess its for my own benefit. Have you ever felt like you cant hear God or He cannot hear you? Well I have and therefore feel like screaming or I guess shouting. Saying, "HEY GOD! YEAH YOU UP THERE. DO YOU HEAR ME? I DONT KNOW IF I AM HEARING YOU." Right now I am presently frustrated at myself. For what reason I am is because I feel like I have no desire to continue with school sometimes. I just want to "start life." I know I am not ready yet. By a long shot. But I still just want to take the jump.

Dont get me wrong please. I am loving life right now. I am doing ok in school actually. I am excited about my future after school. I am running after God. Having the chance to witness to my Dad in little ways. God has place a wonderful, amazing woman in my life who is so passionate about Himself. But as all of this is happening I feel like God is testing me on my faith. After all that is what I asked God to do to me this year. Stupid as is sounds. I did ask for a test in my faith.
Questions come up like: How am I going to pay for school bills when they start? Where will I find a job? Will my dad find a job? Why is all of this happening right now? When will some of my family and friends start to believe in Christ?
I find these are true questions of having faith in God.

So I think I am trying to say that even when life is good. It can be a test to see where your faith lies.
I know that God is Holy and that I shall pursue that Holiness. God Make us more and more in your likeness. May we run after you with a steadfast pace.

Okay, that was just a thought I would share.
May God be with you and bless you and continue to challenge you in your faith of Him.

Oh What a Life!

So the past few weeks have been amazing. Starting with my birthday on the 26th. I went out with some friends to celebrate that Friday night. It was really great we went to Olive Garden and then books-a-million, followed by going to the movies to see "Doubt". It wasn't the best movie I have seen but it was good. Mostly because I got to sit next to my friend Kristen and throw sarcastic jokes out and not have to worry about her taking it wrong.
So during this whole night I had been very sarcastic like I usually am lol. I was especially sarcastic towards Kristen due to the fact that I thought she was cute. Its a bad idea to be a jerk to the girl you like because it doesn't make the best impression of you. Anyway at the end of the night she found out that I liked her through me calling her and asking her out. lol. lame I know. Her response was, "I will think about it," I was like well thats a no. Dang it! Over the weekend our group continued to hang out and I cooked all weekend it was so much fun. Plus I was trying to impress her. Well we ended up talking over the weekend and she let me know that she just wanted to get to know me better before she decided anything. So the past two weeks almost we have had conversation after conversation, most of them hours and hours on end. We have talked about anything and everything. Our past, future and present. I have never been able to talk so easily to anyone.We have been very open and honest about our hopes and fears with a relationship and just in life.
I digress. As of the other she agreed to give me a chance on a date. Wooooohoooooooo!!!!! So Saturday night when I get back to school from break. I am taking her out to... Oh wait she might read this so I cant say. It's a surprise. haha. She probably thought she had it. She has been trying to figure it out since I told her it would be a surprise.
Well I am praying that God will direct this relationship from the get-go. I want us to be going solely after him before eachother.
Well that has been the last few weeks in a nut shell. Im so excited for life right now.